Household Composition

THE HOUSEHOLD HEAD

The household head is a man appointed to take care of a household. He is the designated leader over a group of singles and is responsible for all the activities of the household and for the good order of the household meeting (i.e. attendance, sharing/discussion, honor and respect). He acts as an older brother to the group, establishes strong personal relationships with each of his men, and gets help for them whenever it is available. He helps each member to be fully integrated into the household and in SFC. He has no authority over member’s lives but exercise concern for their lives, especially in the areas of righteousness and good order. He supports the life in SFC and the decisions of its elders.

 

THE HOUSEHOLD MEMBERS

In order to reap the full benefits to be offered by participation in a household group, its members have to foster some basic attitudes, such as:

1. Openness – one has to be open to what the Lord wants to give through the household group. One should realize that this is part of God’s work and in conformity with His plan for each person, and should therefore be expectant and desirous of what is in store from him/her. Concretely, one should share about his/her personal life and relationship with the Lord in a spirit of openness.
2. Confidentiality – household members are encouraged to share of their personal lives, including their concerns and difficulties, in the meetings. And this can be done only in an atmosphere of confidentiality. Whatever is shared in the meetings should not be shared outside with anyone else.

Note: the household leaders may share concerns with their service head/Unit Head, who are extensions of their service and care for household members. This is not a breach of confidentiality. The prohibition on sharing with outsiders excludes the positive factors in one’s life. These in effect can be shared by the members outside the household meeting whenever there is an appropriate opportunity so that others can also be built up and encouraged.

1. Faithfulness – one has to make the weekly household meeting a priority in his life, and be regular in attendance. Only with continuity and one’s personal commitment can the purpose of household groups be achieved.
2. Participation – each member has to come to the meetings prepared both spiritually and practically, and have the attitude of wanting to make a contribution to the life of the meeting. Think not only of what you can get out of the meeting, but of what you can impart to the brothers. This is done by active participation in worship, in sharing and discussion, and in fellowship. It is important that each member supports the good order of the weekly meeting and relates to everyone in the group with honor and respect, especially to the household head.
3. Love – the idea, after all, is to foster active concern and commitment to one another. One has to look on the other members of the group as not just so many new friends, but as brother and sisters in the Lord, among whom mutual love is the common denominator.

Each member is expected to attend the weekly meetings faithfully, and indeed this is part of one’s commitment to the covenant of SFC. Of course, certain obstacles will come up, such as sickness. What is important is that one should accord top priority to these meetings and really desire not to be absent from them.

Since attendance is part of one’s commitment and since the very purpose of household groups would be defeated by frequent absences (indicating a lack of interest), such absences form sufficient ground for one’s separation from SFC. Household heads should follow up on absent members and try to renew their interest and commitment. If unsuccessful, the matter should be referred to the Unit Head for appropriate action.

 

THE HOUSEHOLD MEETINGS

Frequency

Households meet once a week, on the same day of the week as mutually agreed on by the members. Less than once a week would not provide enough contact to have adequate support and encouragement in the Christian life. More than once a week may take time that is more properly allocated to work, family, personal needs or Christian service. The household head cannot skip or cancel any meeting, except as provided for below, or as approved by the Unit Head due to a serious reason.

If the household head cannot be present at a scheduled household meeting (of course for a valid reason), he should not cancel the meeting. Rather, he must refer the matter to the Unit Head. Together, they will agree on a replacement, either one of the men from the household or another brother from the unit.

Exceptions to the weekly household meetings are the following:

• During the week when the monthly prayer meeting is held.
• When a whole household serves in a CLP. In this case, the household will need to meet only two weeks out of four in a month, in addition to its weekly service in CLP.
• During special times such as Holy Week and Christmas break.

Continuing to meet is essential so that the members continue receiving personal life support, and not just meet for service.

Venue

The household meeting is to be held in the home of one of the members of the group. The meeting place is rotated among the homes of each member. Having the household meeting in the homes of the household members have the following values:

• Worshipping the Lord in our homes makes the truth that the home is a small church a concrete reality, and God’s blessings will surely descend upon the home where God’s people can be found, worshipping Him together and growing in their faith together.
• The people in our home will be aware of what we are involved in and what we do every week. To them we will become people who are living their Christian faith openly and powerfully.
• What we do in our homes can be an effective tool for evangelism, especially to our residential household, to our neighbors and to other relatives and friends.

Ingredients of Household Meeting

A typical household meeting would involve three indispensable ingredients: (1) worship and prayer, (2) a time of sharing or teaching or discussion, and (3) some time for fellowship. All three are very important and none should be skipped or simply glossed over.

Worship – should include all the necessary ingredients: singing, praising, thanksgiving, prayers of petition and intercession. Every member should become familiar and comfortable with our way of worship and praise, and the household head shows the way.

A very simple snack is usually prepared by the host. Here it must be kept in mind that the food is incidental to the fellowship, rather than the fellowship being centered on the food. Furthermore, no member should be burdened by the snack’s cost of needed time for preparation, nor should any host ever be pressured in “keeping up” with fellow member’s extravagance. Grace before the meal is said by the host.

The evening ends with a short closing prayer by the head.

Duration

Ordinarily, the household meeting is held after dinner on a weekday. However, other mutually acceptable times are possible. The whole meeting would typically run for about 2 ½ hours. As much as possible, household meetings should start at the agreed time, even if not everyone has arrived.

Social Night

The household may decide to have a social night on occasion. A social night is a time devoted for fellowship, with no formal worship, discussion or sharing. It is recommended that a social night be held once a quarter, on the month where there is a 5^th week. If the members want to have a social night more often, then it should be done outside the time allocated for regular household meetings.

The Household

Definition: A household is a grouping of singles who meet regularly during the week for personal sharing and for mutual support and encouragement in the Christian life. As such, the household is the basic unit in the pastoral structure of Singles for Christ (SFC).

Purpose: The purpose of the household group is to build an environment for the support of the Christian life in singles, and to provide a means of encouraging and hastening growth in the Christian life. As such, the household group:

1. Builds faith and provides for mutual encouragement through sharing of life experiences and God’s practical wisdom.
2. Provides friendship and brotherhood (sisterhood), without which our Christian life lacks joyful expression.
3. Provides support for each other’s needs.
4. Helps people overcome obstacles to growth in the Christian life.

Composition: A household is composed of five to seven singles including the household head. The household is constituted from singles who finished the Christian Life Program (CLP) and who have made their commitment to the covenant of the Singles for Christ. The household is set up immediately after the end of the CLP.

In succeeding years, there would be occasions when households would be reorganized, with the ensuing change in the membership in the different households.

Every SFC member is to belong to one household as a member of it. SFC leaders (Household Heads, Unit Heads and Chapter Heads) are all to belong to households for their own personal support in their Christian life. Thus every SFC leader participates in two households, one which he leads and the other where he in turn is led.

Orientation of New Households to SFC

Orientation Program Objectives and Mechanics

 

I.          Introduction

This manual is for the use of household leaders in conducting their household meetings right after the Christian Life Program (CLP). It covers the three‑month period between the CLP and the next part of our formation program, the Covenant Orientation.

 

II.         Objectives

Following are the objectives of the Orientation Phase:

1.   This orientation program seeks to develop an atmosphere where members in the household feel comfortable with one another and are growing in their relationship as brethren.

2.   The program also aims to explain the purpose and dynamics of household meetings.

3.   It intends to establish among the household members clear expectations of the:

•        Role of the household head.
•        Role of household members.
•        Meeting place, time and schedule.
•        Attitude of members to the household head and to each other.

4.   The program also seeks to develop an atmosphere of trust and openness among the members.

5.   It sets-up the structure whereby household members can begin to share and experience a life lived under the power of the Holy Spirit.

 

III.        Role of Household Leaders

Overall, the role of the household leaders is to introduce the members into the pattern of life of SFC and to see to it that members are gradually being integrated into the culture of SFC.

More specifically, household leaders are expected to do, among others, the following:

1. Help members adjust and adapt into a new pattern of life and behaviour;
2. Help members develop an attitude of trust and confidence in the Lord and with one another;
3. Assist members to appreciate their new way of life;
4. Help members to understand and appreciate the values and practices of SFC.

 

IV.        Content of the Meetings

Since there are 3 household meetings in a month, this 3‑month phase may encompass 9 household meetings in all.  Following are the proposed contents for each of these meetings.  The household head may opt to have topics or content other than these, as long as the basic objectives for this phase are met.

 

Meeting No. 1

1. Have a short prayer to start.  Have one song and then a prayer by the household head.
2. Start off with brief introductions by each member of the household, including the leaders, who should go first.

• These should be only basic information, such as: name, age, residence, work, children.
• It should be only about 5 minutes per member.

Note: It would be good to collate basic information about the household members and give these out to everyone for their   respective references. This can include: names, residence, birth dates, telephone, work and family info.

3.  Explain the following (refer to your household head’s manual):

• Purpose of household meetings (Sec. A‑2)
• Your role as household head (Sec. B‑2)
• Your wife’s role [If a CFC member and not a single.] (Sec. B‑3)
• 7.Attendance (Sec. C‑2)
• Ingredients (Sec. D‑3)

4.  Expound on how you will be conducting the time of worship starting the next meeting.

• Explain the sequence (Sec. D‑3‑a).
• Exhort participation – in singing, praising, exercise of spiritual gifts, individual prayers of thanksgiving and petition.

5.  Have a time for questions and answers.

6.  Agree on your subsequent meetings.

• What day?
• What time? Have an “arrival time” and a “starting time”, usually about 15 minutes later.  Stress that the meeting will start punctually on the designated starting time.
• Where? For ease of remembering, do the rotation of venues based on the surnames of the members, going alphabetically.

7.  Remind everyone to have his or her own Bible and to bring it to every meeting.

8.  Have your time of fellowship.  Try to keep the whole meeting within 2 1/2 hours.

 

Meeting No. 2

1. Have full worship.
2. This meeting again is a joint meeting.
3. If anyone was late, exhort all to punctuality.
4. Examine the time of worship.

• Did people participate actively?
• Discuss the dynamics a bit.
• Exhort all to greater participation and openness to the leading of the Holy Spirit.

5.  Go over the desired attitudes of members (Sec. C‑1).
6.  Go quickly over the Bible Reading Guide.

• Does everyone have his/her own Bible?
• Encourage faithfulness to daily Bible reading, using the guide.

7.  Encourage all to read one spiritual book a month, drawing from our publications in CFC/FLAME Ministries.
8.  Surface any concerns the members might have.
9.  Have your time of fellowship.

 

Meeting No. 3

1. Have full worship.
2. Before the sharing, encourage openness. Reiterate the principle of confidentiality (Sec. C‑1‑b).
3. Have the time of sharing.
4. Topic:

• How they were introduced to SFC and what made them decide to join.
• What changes are they observing or experiencing in their lives – home, office, and relationships.

5.  Surface any concerns they might still have regarding SFC and their household group.
6.  Have your time of fellowship.

 

Meeting No. 4

1. Full worship, a separate meeting, fellowship.
2. Topic: Share on personal prayer and Bible reading.

 

Meeting No. 5

1. Full worship, discussion/sharing, and fellowship.
2. Topic: Share on personal life – interests, hobbies, work, schedule of activities, etc.

 

Meeting No. 6

1. Full worship, discussion/sharing, and fellowship.
2. Topic:  Share on family life – relationship with spouse, relationship with children, family schedule, family prayer, family recreation, etc.

 

Meeting No. 7

1. Full worship, discussion/sharing, and fellowship.
2. Topic:  Share on how they are experiencing growth in and through SFC.

 

Meeting No. 8

1. Have full worship.
2. Discuss the SFC logo.

• Do they understand what CFC and SFC stand for?
• Where are they at in relation to who they ought to be and what they ought to be for in CFC Singles for Christ?

3.  Have your time of fellowship.

 

Meeting No. 9

1. Full worship, discussion/sharing, and fellowship.
2. Topic for sharing:

• How are they experiencing personal conversion and de­veloping their personal relationship with Jesus?
• How are they appreciating God’s call to be in a particu­lar body, which is SFC?

Note

1.   Whenever there is a fifth week in the month, this can be devoted to a time of fellowship or a purely social activi­ty.  You may choose to do a variety of activities, either in a home or outside.

2. The next phase after this Orientation of New Households is a one‑day recollection referred to as the “Covenant Orien­tation”. In case this is scheduled early, some of the topics of the above mentioned meetings will have to wait for another time.  In case the recollection is late, then there will be added household meetings where the topics will have to be decided on by the household head.  You have a variety of sources for topics: the CLP talks, the Ugnayan “Growing in the Lord” articles, Christian books, etc.

 

Source: SFC Formation Track